Autism and Perfectionism

The Struggle to Switch Off.

For many autistic women, the pressure to “get it right” never really stops. Whether it’s replaying conversations, double-checking emails, or mentally rehearsing tomorrow’s tasks, your brain can feel like it’s always on. This isn’t about being dramatic or disorganised, it’s often a survival strategy. From a young age, many autistic women learn to monitor themselves constantly: tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, performance. This is often part of masking — the invisible labour of trying to fit in, stay safe, and avoid judgement.

When you grow up learning that a small misstep might lead to rejection or criticism, perfectionism becomes a form of protection. The “overthinking” is your nervous system trying to stay one step ahead of danger. It’s not weakness, it’s (hyper)vigilance. But it’s exhausting. And it’s unsustainable. This constant mental load can lead to burnout, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, and an inability to truly rest. Even downtime can feel like another task to get right.

Counselling can help you unpick where these patterns began and offer new, gentler ways of relating to yourself. You don’t have to keep proving your worth to be accepted. Rest isn’t something you earn by doing everything perfectly — it’s something you deserve because you’re human.

Learning to switch off isn’t lazy. It’s healing.

And slowly, with support, it becomes possible.

#QuercusCounselling #Autism #Perfectionism #Burnout